One Million Morons

Right-wing group "One Million Moms" must not have expected how much backlash would happen after giving its two cents about J.C. Penney hiring Ellen DeGeneres as their spokesperson. OMM's site has a link to a petition urging that DeGeneres — spelled ‘Degeneres' on their page — be removed for being "an open homosexual," and for not being "a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their

loss in sales by offending the majority."

OMM, self-identified as a refuge for traditional, Christian family values, accused J.C. Penney of "jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon."

There is no such thing, however, as a pro-gay bandwagon. J.C. Penney is simply not homophobic, carpooling with the likes of One Million Moms on the "anti-gay bandwagon," which sadly does exist as long as morons keep fueling such stupidity. On their Facebook page, One Million Moms has nearly 44,000 followers

(only 956,000 to go). Perhaps if they were One Million Moms and Dads, they

would have more members? Seeing their Facebook page is further

revealing of how very meager and ineffective the voice of OMM happens to be,

especially compared to the full-force juggernaut that is DeGeneres' fanbase.

Thousands of comments in support of DeGeneres brimmed with words of

support for J.C. Penney's decision not to bow down to OMM's archaic logic.

Over the weekend, the group deleted its page pushing for DeGeneres' removal.

The "traffic" of support prompted their administrators to delete the post specifically

about DeGeneres, but there is a variety of other posts with thousands of

messages in support of her, J.C. Penney and most simply of equality.

One such post on the site is about an ad by Macy's, showcasing their bridal

registry. The ad is an image of some newlyweds' car, being driven down a

road; the trunk is stuffed, tied down but open and revealing suitcases among a

three-tiered wedding cake. The image seems harmless, and then a closer look

reveals two grooms atop the cake. Macy's must be on the "pro-gay bandwagon"

as well (the car in the ad was more of a Fiat than a wagon, though).

How did the visitors to OMM's Facebook page react? Scrolling through

2,026 comments, I couldn't find one negative reaction to the ad. Most often,

someone left the comment, "I love it!" My personal favorite was, "Gay weddings

are da bomb diggety." Looks like the "anti-gay bandwagon" is

running out of gas. Just ask Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Since its legalization in New York, gay

marriage has brought millions in overall tourism income and

revenue. No "loss in sales" there, OMM, and I imagine the same will happen for Washington, where gay marriage was made legal last week. (And here I was, suspecting that there might be something of a

lucrative market in gay weddings.) One Million Moms is a group I cannot help but be compelled to call One Million Morons. Near the post about the blasphemous cake toppers was a lost that read, "The separation between church and state is called the rapture." (And these people are breeding? That's it. I'm starting a One Million Rescued Children group.) Another post quoted Ronald Reagan: "Within the covers of the Bible are all the answers for all the problems men face. The Bible can touch hearts, order minds and refresh souls." So that's why the group is One Million Moms, because the Bible doesn't have any answers for women. One other facet that OMM has forgotten — aside from the Golden Rule, how to count and how to spell Ellen's name — is that before we are customers giving business here or there, we are human beings living on the same planet. So "Degeneres is not a true

representation" of people who shop at J.C. Penney? I think that's a shame, because I find Mrs. DeGeneres to be pure class. I would have a much healthier outlook on humanity if more people had something in common with her. I don't mean: if more people were gay. I mean: if more people were goodhearted — if more would focus on how to convey a sense of humor instead of superiority, how to are for people more than fears, and how to love yourself without needing to hate one person ... or a million of them. Speaking of goodhearted, thank you to J.C. Penney. I love your ethical style.