Sanctity of stupidity

When Kim Kardashian revealed her love for laser hair removal, I didn't care. 

When she talked about the attention her butt receives, I might have been a little jealous but I still didn't care.

When she and Kris Humphries divorced 72 days after their wedding, I was insulted.

E! Entertainment TV issued a statement about the divorce: "All of us at E! are surprised and saddened by this news, and we send our support to Kim and Kris at this difficult time."

I was personally surprised and saddened when California passed the gay marriage ban in 2008. At present, 42 state constitutions define marriage as being the union of one man and one woman (see 17-year-old Courtney "Heated Flesh" Stodden and 51-year-old Doug "Tiger in Bed" Hutchinson).

Let's set aside the fact that one of Kardashian's farts gets more press than the 1 billion or so children currently in poverty. For now, let's even set aside the fact that it's apparently OK for someone else's worldview to classify which rights I have.

Let's talk for a moment (or 72 days) about the sanctity of marriage.

Kardashian identifies as a Christian, so let's have a look in particular at the Christian sanctity of marriage in the time it was considered an "abomination" for men to sleep together, when marriages were arranged with the ease of a new or renewed reality TV show.

In the Bible, some husbands had concubines, one or two or 300. Some had more than one wife, an extra couple or 700.

If you wanted to marry your brother's widow, she would have been required by God to have sex with you or whichever other sibling grabbed her first.

If you were raped, your virginity taken, the rapist would be encouraged to marry you (and you would have no say in the matter), as long as he paid the fine for property loss.

If you were fortunate to not be purchased by your rapist, there remained other ways to participate in a sanctified marriage. Families were slaughtered and virgin daughters were exchanged as spoils of war to be made into wives.

You wouldn't know it by looking at them but slave owners were some of the best wedding planners as well, as long as the slaves didn't ask to marry anyone in particular.

So there is your unadulterated sanctity of marriage: the husband is the master (unless he is a slave) and the wife is a possession. Concubines, wives, slaves — what ratings E! would get with such domestic conflict.

Granted, society has changed since the days it was considered fashionably Christian to have wives, concubines and slaves, but the same doctrine that said such behavior was once all right continues to be used as a weapon against homosexuals who want the right to marry (with or without reality tv cameras).

"Concubines and slaves were part of the olden-timey days," goes the logic, "but homosexuality will always be a major sin. "

I worry sometimes that, during one of the Bible's translations, scholars lost the page that details the length of time in which something is or isn't a sin until society doesn't care anymore to forbid or exploit it.

Speaking of exploitation, it is heterosexuals who are destroying the "sanctity" and "definition" of marriage. Words like "showmance" and television shows like "The Bachelor" are all showcasing the fact that gay people have nothing to do with the divorce rate.

The sanctity of each marriage depends solely on the couple concerned. You and your husband or wife are the only two capable of tarnishing the sanctity of your marriage.

When two people divorce, it isn't because a homosexual somewhere is chanting gay spells; it's because those people decided to no longer be married (and if their divorce brings in more money and higher ratings, so be it). So what is being protected? The right for Kardashian to marry and divorce 72 days later?