Easter service raises questions about belief
Until this Easter, I had never in my life had made the decision to go to an Easter service by myself.
Even though my friend took me to the church, I made the decision. I had wanted to go to Easter service on my own accord. That had never happened before in my 21 years of life until this past Easter.
My friend teaches a small Sunday school-like class in the mornings before the service, so I attended that first.
Afterward, I attended the actual service. I had only been to a Baptist service once before, so I wasn't used to the audience talking back to the preacher during the service, saying words like, "Amen!" and "That's right!"
It certainly made it more of a communal experience.
During the service, I will admit there were some things that the preacher said that I didn't totally agree with, but it was a service that really made me think.
For instance, did you know that when Jesus' apostles went to his tomb and found that he was risen, they were scared?
Also, they didn't really believe that it happened at all until Jesus came to them himself. I had no idea that happened. I thought of all the people who would believe, they would.
But even the apostles themselves had doubt.
It was so interesting to me, because Mary Magdalene and two other apostles saw him and tried to convince the others that Jesus had risen, and they still didn't believe it.
I was so surprised at this story.
If the ones who were the closest to Jesus doubted him ... then of course people who are 2,000 years removed from him would doubt him, too.
Actually, it is more amazing to me that more people do not doubt him millenniums later.
It was also interesting that the apostles saw the tomb for themselves and had three different people tell them that they saw Jesus, yet they still weren't convinced it was him until they saw him for themselves.
They had so much evidence, but they still didn't believe it until he was physically in front of them.
What if the other nine apostles had never saw Jesus after that? Would they deny what they had seen until they died? And then what?
It was interesting to think about.
What about me? Has there been all this evidence in my life that I've been denying?
I was asked (not directly, but in general service prayer) to accept Jesus into my heart.
I didn't feel ready for it just yet, but I can't help but wonder: What if I have all this evidence in my life and I never feel ready? What other evidence will I need?
I cried quietly during prayer.
Later on in the day, I had received some unfortunate news and I immediately had negative thoughts, "I go to church on Easter Sunday, and this is what I get for it."
Thinking back now, I can't believe I even thought that.
Instead of looking for evidence for religion, I am always looking for evidence against it.
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