How to face a cyberstalker

I always felt like I did the whole social networking thing wisely.

Don't update about current locations, don't add people you don't know, think before you post: Check, check and check. Bad things always happen to someone else.

Until it doesn't.

When I became a victim of cyberstalking it made me realize two things.

One — even if you know someone is far away from you, it is still very easy for them to consume a good part of your life. In my case, it began with a few messages a day, which started off friendly. Suddenly, the friendly messages became hostile.

Soon I was receiving messages on the hour, telling me what a terrible person I was and what a trashy family I have. I'll never forget that sinking feeling when I opened one message to find my home address staring back at me. He later told he me he wasn't afraid of going to jail. He had been a few times before, and it wasn't too bad, he said.

Two — cyberstalking isn't taken seriously enough. There were several people who were very supportive of me at this time when I felt so violated, but there were also a few who were not.

Now, that being said, I'm one of these people who hates getting help or sympathy from anyone. I didn't want anyone to do anything special for me except take my concerns seriously. Most reactions were just something like, "Well, block him." To which I wanted to reply, "Well, brilliant. Thanks, why I didn't I think of that?" Sarcastic tone intended.

Truth is, I blocked him several times on several different accounts. He was creating different email addresses and Facebook accounts to keep in contact. Not only was I getting flooded with emails and messages, I had about five new friends a day tell me he had tried to contact them as well. My mother began regularly receiving emails at work, and my sister began receiving degrading texts.

Any small amount of free time I once had was suddenly filled with reading these messages and dealing with the police and having numerous friends and family members telling me about his attempted contact with them, followed by them telling me how I should deal with the situation.

I suddenly felt like my life had been infiltrated. I resented this person for stripping me of my time, and more importantly, my feeling of security.

When looking back on it now, it's eery to think about the way he got in my head simply by electronic means — how he instilled fear in me every time I went somewhere by myself, or walked to my car late at night, or even opened my laptop.

Cyberstalking is a relatively new phenomenon, according to the National Center for Victims of Crime website. It is defined as "threatening behavior or unwanted advances directed at another using the Internet and other forms of online and computer communications."

According to this website, effects of cyberstalking include changes in sleeping and eating patterns, nightmares, anxiety, helplessness, shock and fear for safety.

The website recommends giving the offender a clear, written warning and requesting a cease of communication. Then, victims should have no further response, no matter the circumstance.

If harassment continues, the victim should file a complaint with the offender's Internet provider. The victim should keep a record of all communication efforts, and take them to law enforcement to file an official complaint. Many states have taken action to pass laws to prevent cyberstalking. For more information on these, visit ncvc.org.

In my case, I made everyone I contacted on a regular basis aware of the situation. I sought help from Public Safety on campus, who were very friendly and helpful. I invested in some pepper spray, and I deactivated my Facebook account.

Law enforcement officers in the offender's town knocked on his door to give him an official warning. After about three weeks of being harassed, the emails and messages finally ceased.

I reactivated my facebook shortly thereafter, but I took a long, hard look at my friends list. Suddenly, it wasn't just about who I knew. It was about who I trusted. It took well over an hour, but I deleted more than half of my "friends."

I now think hard about everything I post. Because of this, I hardly post anything at all. Even something like your birthday or favorite color can be unnerving when sent to you from an unwanted source.